Ouch! My Head Hurts....

My head is spinning. I can’t seem to turn off the thought machine. Maybe it’s a sign of middle age. Actually, I’m sure of it. Some days I wish I had never heard of the concept of SWAP. I’d definitely be happier right now. Instead, I keep thinking and thinking and coming up with zero. What’s the question, you ask? What style do I wish to convey?

I’ve been through so many styles and changes in my life that I can’t keep track. Trendy girl comes and goes a lot -- vintage girl was my absolute favorite. Actually, when I look back, trendy girl is most prominent in my past. Of course, trendy girl generally corresponded with the thin, hourglass me. Once I gained weight, I turned into frumpy girl because they trendy stuff just didn’t look good. I used to have 3 closets full of clothes and dressed by mood. Vintage girl really had a good time -- 1950s through 1970s. Such a groovy wardrobe. Especially my June Cleaver dresses. I’d still be vintage girl, but I grew out of my dresses and palazzo pants.

When I became a Catholic a few years ago, I experienced a crisis of conscience -- materialism reared its ugly head. I had 3 closets of clothes and close to 100 pairs of shoes and I wasn’t wearing them. So I gave it to charity. Almost all of it. It didn’t fit anyway. Over time, the rest of it was either donated or, in the case of the better vintage dresses, sold on Ebay. Of course, slowly but surely, more clothes crept into my closet. I turned into a total label whore. It was scary, actually. Because I was vintage girl in the past (and goth girl in college), I knew my way around thrift stores. I was sure to be at the Salvation Army at 10:00 a.m. sharp on Saturdays, to begin my attack -- it was 50% off day. I could spot a designer item from 10 feet away. And new with tags? Yep, found those too. Pretty soon, label girl had a couple of closets. Then I gained weight and frumpy girl came back. Joined weight watchers and started to lose weight -- label whore came back. Then I gained it again and frumpy came back. Then, while reading the lives of the saints, Catholic girl came back and cleared out that closet. This time she was vicious -- haven’t worn it in a year? Gone. Doesn’t fit? Gone. Out of style? Gone. Wrong color or shape? Gone. What are those, pleats?? Gone. Are you wearing those shoes? No? Gone. She did a number on me.

So at the end of these phases, I learned that I was shaped funny. Retail doesn’t fit. I’m one size on top and large size or two on the bottom. I don’t have skinny arms, so close fitting sleeves are a problem and cap sleeves are just plain frightening. If it fits in the hips, the waist is sticking out a mile from my body. I got mad and decided to pick up the needle and thread. Return to my roots. Do what I had done in the past but better and like I mean it. Then I really got mad at retail. How dare they only make clothes that fit little boy shaped girls properly?? It wasn’t fair. So, I decided I was done with retail and their idealized ideas of a woman’s body!!

Enter current me. She’s older and hopefully wiser. She is also facing major life decisions. I’m breaking from my past. For me, that means physically as well as mentally. I’m ditching more stuff. I don’t need it. Taking care of the stuff gets in the way of sewing. I’m not using it anyway. I also realize that my wardrobe (for lack of a better term - it is not really a wardrobe, but a collection of stuff -- mostly skirts and t-shirts) is inadequate. The t-shirts that I love look awful on me when worn alone. They definitely have to be relegated back to under jackets, where they belong. Not that I have any jackets, but I will in the coming year. What’s worse, the t-shirts tend to cling in the tummy rolls. I don’t like that. Last night I went to Super Target. I bought 2 items (first retail purchases in 6 months -- on clearance though). I got the perfect white shirt for me --- a little bit of ruffles at the button line on the bodice and empire waist -- and a silver gray satin retro 50’s jacket. Since gray is the new black for this season, I’m set. I paid about $20.00 for both: $8.00 for the shirt; $12.00 for the jacket. I really got the jacket because of the interior construction. A jacket, Mossimo, at Target and it had flat felled seams and bias tape!!! Not only is it the start of a new me, it’s also going to serve as inspiration. It hits me just right. The shirt is Mossimo too. I even tried them on! Right there over my t-shirt. The transformation was amazing! It really made the Capri/t-shirt combo I was wearing look bad. That prompted me to go home and analyze my figure. I don’t like it, but it’s mine and that’s all there is to it. A pear -- I like pears, but don’t really want to look like one. Maybe I should eat more pears!!. I also have the start of a dowagers hump (I knew working all day at a computer was going to be a bad thing I’m turning into Quasimodo). Then there’s the sway back issue - more of me on the back end than in the front. I have a tummy -- it’s smaller than the hiney, but it’s still there. Cottage cheese thighs and upper arms. Sigh. I’m a mess and I had better learn to dress this mess. But how? What’s my style?

I’ve thought and thought about this. I loved the dresses of the 50s and early 60s because they were meant to fit women. Plus, only the bodice is fitted so that full skirt will hide my flaws. What’s more, women were shaped like women. I’ve tried to look for inspiration in fashion magazines and on the Internet--even looked at 2008 Spring trends. Bottom line: They aren’t talking to me. I’m not a 20 something boy shaped girl. I’m a 42 year old woman with a body that’s becoming mature and is a victim of too many bad meals, sleepless nights, not enough water and bad posture at work. I also had a problem trying to figure out why I should listen to some designer tell me what I should be wearing and then trying to make me pay for the privilege. So, I looked for mature women’s fashions and found this advice: don’t follow the trends; don’t dress too young, accent the positive and camouflage the negative; find your own style. So, I’m taking the colors for the new season (some of them -- I am not wearing pink and you can’t make me!) and seeing where they lead me. I still don’t know what to make, but I know one thing -- for all intent and purposes, the closet is empty and the sky is the limit. I want to find the fusion between casual elegance, classic vintage and art wear. I don’t know how to get there, but I’m going to start on this journey any way and see where it takes me. In the meantime, I’ll continue to educate myself on sewing by reading the myriad books that I’ve acquire over the months and scouring the Internet for tips. Then I’ll sew myself through the frustration of it all! Starting from nothing is not easy, but I am certain it will show itself to be a true gift. I may even learn some interesting things about myself. Sew on…

TGIF

I can honestly say that I'm glad it's Friday, even though I only worked 2 days this week. Right now, I'm trying to convince myself that I want to cut out one of the purses that I need to sew. It's not working. So, instead, I decided to blog. This stupid camera of mine managed to work last week for a day, so I was able to get pictures of the baby gifts that I completed for Christmas.
I even did a little bit of machine quilting, even though I said that I would never quilt anything. So much for that claim. The bibs came from the Sew Mama Sew blog site. The blankets were just out of my head. All in all, the came out great. I will definitely make more of these.
I decided for the girl's set to use Michael Miller fabric for the bib, binding and blanket front. The bib has flannel for lining and a fleece back to the blanket.
This little boy's number was quite the challenge -- a challenge that I enjoyed. I used stretch corduroy, but wasn't entirely prepared for the bulk factor when I decided to make the binding out of corduroy. All in all I was please and learned a lot from this project. I had to do some hand sewing to clean up spots, but that just made it all the more fun.
For the boy, I used flannel and corduroy for the bib, appliqueing one of the horses on the front of the bib (yes, I even remembered to use stabilizer!). The back of this blanket is also fleece. I've surprised myself by making good use of the fleece that mom sent. She got me just about every color under the sun in solids, so they are going into purses and baby shoes! Hopefully, this goofy camera will work once I finish the bags.

Well, off to take fabric out of the dryer and take a nap. So much for cutting tonight.

2008’s a Comin’Fast

Here it is December 27 already. 2008 is around the corner.

It’s been an interesting year, for lack of a better term. As usual, I spend a great deal of this week in personal reflection. Some years I make resolutions and some years (like last year in particular), I didn’t make any so I wouldn’t be disappointed when I quit 2 weeks into January. This year, I definitely feel the need to institute major change in my life. Perhaps it’s a mid life thing. I don’t know. I only know that I need something to move toward – I need goals. I’ve spent the first half of my life living with the status quo and sleepwalking through the rest. Now, thanks be to God, I feel a true spirit of change upon me. That and the feeling of re-birth … of starting over. I feel the need to let go of the past and take with me only the lessons … not the luggage.

What are my resolutions that I’m not calling resolutions you ask? Well, I’ll need your patience on this one as I will undoubtedly revise, revise and then revise and the year progresses. So, as of today, here are the things that I want to change or improve upon (and no, grammar is not on the list).

1. Concentrate on what I need rather than what I want. Try to practice delayed gratification more often.
2. Get a financial grip on things. No more unplanned shopping trips. I plan to re-sign up for the Refashionista challenge for 6 months. No retail. No problem.

3. De-clutter my home, my purse, my tote bag and my mind. This includes my sewing area (oy vay!!). I get to go through everything and evaluate what gets used and what is just sitting around. I have been doing this in stages over the past year. I enjoy the process because it includes the closet. The only change this time will be using the fabric that I’m “tossing”. i.e. Those t-shirts will either become (a) pillows; (b) dog toys; (c) t-shirt quilt; (d) cleaning rags or (e) polishing cloths for Mr. Harley Davidson.

4. Practice BIBO. Bills in; bills out. Since I tend to suffer from CRS, I think this is a good plan. That will tell me exactly how much I can shift to my sewing fund for groovy fabrics and notions. I might as well throw in a new spirit or thriftiness. Check in Internet for freebie patterns and ideas before scanning the magazine racks or pattern books.

5. Pay more attention to my diet. If I lose the extra 40 pounds, great. If not, at least I will feel better.

6. Do difficult or undesirable tasks first. Better to get it over with than to keep putting it off, which leads to the next one.

7. Stop procrastinating. Procrastination affects all areas of my life. Finances, diet, clutter, sewing. You name it, I can procrastinate about it.

8. Stop biting off more than I can chew. This means at work, at home, with friends and especially sewing (sure, I can make that for you. You need it tomorrow? No problem, I don’t really need any sleep).

9. Practice Couture Techniques and test all of the stitches on my sewing machine and serger.

10. Plan my wardrobe (this is killing me. I’ve been thinking about it for months and nothing.) I have plenty of solids – just don’t know what to do with them.

11. No more fashion magazines. I don’t know why I buy these. They are not in the least bit helpful to me. I am not (a) 20; (b) a size 0; or (c) blonde and perky. I cannot picture the clothes on a mature figure to save my life, so I’m going to stop trying.

12. Plan. Read the instructions twice. Start. Complete. THEN go on to something new. I have so many unfinished things in my sewing room it’s not funny. I am going to try in 2008 to finish the current project before jumping into a new one.

13. Stop smoking. Costs too much. It’s bad for me. I keep taking breaks from sewing because I have to go outside.

14. Make an effort to find life’s little lessons in sewing and translate them to life.

15. Try to life a more green lifestyle.

16. Sew as many of my patterns as I can. Try out at least 3/4 of the views – even if I don’t think they will look right on me. You never know until you try. Use the techniques I am learning from my sewing books to make the appropriate adjustments making use of the fancy rulers I have.

17. Be a passionate blogger. Try to keep up with blogging – it doesn’t have to be a novel. I should probably add “fix broken cameras” to this list.

18. Get plenty of rest and drink lots of water. Play with my dog every day. Laugh for at least 30 minutes out of every day – even it if takes watching a stupid movie over and over again.

19. Have fun.

I’m sure there’s more. I’m absolutely certain I will revise this umpteen times

Long Time Coming

Well, it's been a very long time since my last post, so I thought that I would post a quickie and then go and cut out my outfit for my husband's Christmas party. Although I haven't been posting, I have been doing. I managed to put together an amazing 100 surgical caps. I am definitely done for a while because I am burned out on the things. I pulled an all-nighter to bring them in on time. I still have lots left over because my husband didn't feel like dragging them to work a second day, so they will go into inventory and I will have a less busy holiday season next year. (I really like the sound of that).

Mostly, I have been cruising the books on Ebay and reading about sewing. The only thing is, the more I read, the more I realize I don't know. Other than the training I received from mom, I'm pretty much self-taught. Mom's method of sewing is cut and sew. It never really dawned on me to plan, plan and then plan again. Now I see things differently, and can appreciate my lack of time to sew, because I can spent those 5-10 minutes here and there and my time on the bus reading about sewing and planning. I'm actually learning a lot about fit and the order of sewing. Up until this point, I had been content to follow the pattern, but more and more, I am finding fault, for lack of a better term, with the order of some of the instructions. Instinctively, I feel it's not the more efficient method. Thankfully, the ladies of Tauton Press, have shared their knowledge with the world and I am benefiting from it. Yeah!!

Well, off to cut and put in a few seams on my jacket. Figured I'd start with the most complicated item first. Also will cut mom's jammies. She's due here on Saturday and I've done nothing toward her Christmas -- too burned out, sad to say. But, since I don't want to sew and throw (Like I did last year -- she likes to visit me back here and I had to keep throwing her robe under the sewing desk and pick up something else -- so stressful). I figure with a little time here and there, the jammies will be completed this week. Then it's on to the purse -- I'll just say it's for someone else like I did with her jacket last year.

Happy sewing.